Don't Look Away

They probably have to drive by this every single day.

That was my first thought when I rounded a corner in Uvalde last Sunday and saw the memorial in the center of town.

Surrounded by quaint shops and flanked by the county courthouse sits a square populated with white crosses, little altars commemorating the victims of the mass shooting that happened on May 24, 2022. The decorations appear to change with the holidays: bunny ears. Laminated hearts faded by the sun and the rain. A host of tattered teddy bears and silk flowers, toppled and scattered by the wind.

Somebody’s child. Mother. Teacher. Friend.

Irma Garcia, a teacher at Robb Elementary, was killed by the gunman. Her husband and high school sweetheart, Joe, died of a heart attack two days later—the family believes he died of a broken heart.

An inscription on the back of Joe’s memorial.

The second time I passed by it I wondered: what’s it like for families of the victims when they get caught at the light next to the square? Do they turn and look at their loved one’s altar, reliving their gruesome death over and over again? Have they figured out how to somehow distract themselves so they don’t get sucked back into the despair? Do they avoid the area altogether, adding time to their commutes by taking the long way around the center of town? How do they cope with the constant reminders of these brutal murders?

Maite Rodriguez, age 10, had been shot so many times with an automatic weapon they had to identify her body by the shoes she had worn to school that day—high top Chuck Taylors with a heart drawn on the toe.

Nobody can hear you thinking right now so you can be honest. Pick one of your kids. Your parents. Your nephew or sister. Hold that one face in your mind. If one of these altars was theirs; if your child had been the one battered beyond recognition by an AR-15, do you really think you’d still be saying, “Guns don’t kill people”? Do you really think you’d still be a staunch advocate of civilians rights to own military grade automatic weapons? Do you really think you’d have an attitude of, “you-win-some-you-lose some?”

The gun lobby has convinced a lot of people that this is an either/or situation. Either you allow all firearms or you allow none of them. They have propagated the idea that banning assault rifles is just the government’s way of easing in to the confiscation of all guns. That is a complete and total lie. It’s a massive conspiracy theory designed to spread paranoia and fear. People don’t need AR-15’s to defend themselves. Rifles, shotguns, pistols and handguns are highly effective at stopping an intruder or preserving one’s life. AR-15’s are weapons of mass destruction, designed to produce mass casualties in a war. They’ve become the weapon of choice for mass murderers and they have no place in the hands of civilians.

I am so tired of the argument that putting common sense gun laws into place won’t make a difference. Will they prevent all mass shootings? Of course not. But will they prevent some? Yes. It reminds me of the numerous parables that have derived from Loren Eiseley’s 1969 essay entitled, “The Star Thrower.” Does it matter if you throw a few starfish back into the ocean while hundreds that have washed up on the shore are still dying? Yeah, it matters to the ones that you saved. Any one of the families represented below would give anything to have been one of the exceptions to this ever growing rule.

I drove by Robb Elementary on my way out of town and saw this about a half a block from the school.

I believe that if this happened to your kid, you’d want to ban assault weapons too. Why do we think this won’t happen to us? Why do we not care unless it happens to us?

I went to Uvalde in the first place to photograph a labyrinth for a magazine. But once I saw the memorial I couldn’t leave without bearing witness to this community’s agony. Don’t look away. The people of Uvalde don’t have that luxury. They’re faced with it at every turn. I don’t claim to understand even a thimble full of what they’ve been through. But I will tell you this: I could absolutely feel the heaviness of their burden while I was there.

Less than three weeks ago, a 28 year old in Nashville fired 152 rounds in 14 minutes.

Six hours ago there was another mass shooting in Louisville, Kentucky.

This isn’t going to magically go away. It will not fix itself. It’s up to us.

There is a middle way. Let’s find it.